Mr. Frog

Blades of grass in perfect order
Grace the landscape of the ‘burbs
Straight and flawless to the borders
Of the white, cemented curb

Placed precisely in the gardens
Topiary tiny shrubs
In their shadows seemed to pardon
A surviving buttercup

Castles of prosaic splendor
Rose majestically and bright
Past the plastic sidings grandeur
And the dish for satellite

And amongst all this perfection
Sitting leisurely at ease
Staring in the curb’s direction
Was the Frog of Bourbon Street

He was sitting ‘mongst the flowers
Yawning when the coast was clear
Looking bored and somewhat sour
When a stranger trotted near

Was he headed for the mansion?
But oh no, he left the path
And the frog was full of tension
As the stranger picked him up

“Wife,” he called in desperation
A cemented, stony frog
“Wife, I’m off to take vacation”
She just sat there like a log

And before he knew what grabbed him
He was hurried down the drive
Far away from all his lawn kin
On the journey of his life

In a car door he went quickly
On a comfy leather seat
But alas he felt quite sickly
As the car took off to speed

Down the street and round the corner
Up a bridge and down a hill
Screeching, beeping and no sooner
Did it break and stood quite still

In a hurry frog was taken
To a small and cluttered room
He was scared and badly shaken
When he saw his final doom

“There you go, inside the duffel,”
said the young and cheerful chap
Grabbed some tickets and then shuffled
Out the door to catch cab

Soon the frog learned transportation
Was the price he had to pay
For the right to take vacation
For the right to go away

Luckily the duffel’s siding
Had a hole that was quite new
And allowed the frog while riding
A delightful hidden view

Out he went into the station
And the airport and the boat
What a rare and swell vacation
Sitting in his comfy tote

Soon they landed and the stranger
Took him out for some fresh air
“Now Manhattan’s full of danger
But they’ve got some vistas here”

“Come along and I will show you,”
He said grinning and at ease
Posed the frog right next to Broadway
“Now look lively and say cheese”

Flash! he captured every vista
Then ran off to buy a card
“Go ahead and write your mister,”
He commanded of the frog

T’is a myst’ry let me tell you
How the frog wrote to his chief
But a letter with the pictures
Told his pa, he’d taken leave

“Ma and Pa, I’m on vacation
Left my wife to guard the burbs
She will do for decoration
And for staring down your curb

Saw New York and went to Wall Street
Broadway too, and Central Park
Had a bagel topped with cream cheese
Off to see a show at dark”

Travel fever is contagious
As the frog learned all too soon
And his young companion’s wages
Were dependent on it too

So before the week was over
He was packed into a plane
Saw the great Atlantic Ocean
And the church of Notre Dame

Bienvenue Monsieur Grenoville
He was greeted in Paris
Would you like to see the Louvre
Would you like a shopping spree?

“We will see the Eiffel Tower,”
Said his young and eager friend
Took a picture that same hour
Of the frog perched on his hand

Ma and Pa would love a letter
Frog thought as he grinned quite smug
Sometime later at a waiter
Who was filling up a mug

For his friend and benefactor
Who was having a baguette
In a quaint Parisian sector
And was staring at his pet

“Frog,” he said and raised an eyebrow
“Frog, we’re leaving in a day
Up to London we will go now
I know just the place to stay”

So it came that without tarry
The two travelers took their leave
Went on up to board a ferry
And arrived the next day’s eve

In a big and mighty city
They had supper at a pub
Drank some ale and shared a pudding
Then decided to rest up

For the many splendid places
Tower Bridge, Trafalgar Square
Off to see the horses racing
Off to breathe the country air

There were castles and a palace
Where they stopped to have some tea
Scones and crumpets and a sandwich
With the aristocracy

“Hope you like the local vista,”
said the young and eager gent
” Go ahead and write your mister
I am off to meet a friend.”

And the frog wrote in a hurry
How, I guess we’ll never know
Told his Pa he shouldn’t worry
As he’s traveling to and fro

In a warm and comfy duffle
He was smuggled to Berlin
And was quickly made to suffer
The acquaintance of some kin

Garden Gnomes they called the fellows
Who were holding mugs of beer
Wheelbarrows and small umbrellas
And who grinned with stoic cheer

At a young and pretty Fräulein
Who was eager to befriend
His companion and the “Fröschlein”
Who looked somewhat discontent

As the Fräulein chanced to kiss him
In the hopes to find a prince
Right in front of all the gnome-kin
Right in front of his young friend

“Kommen Sie,” his friend said winking
“Kafe Kranzler’s serving cake
And if time permits, I’m thinking
There’s the Brandenburger gate

And of course the Berlin Mauer
-What is left that is to say
Let us walk there for an hour
Soon I must be on my way

Frog was glad to see the city
And he soon was quite content
With a chocolate and a Schnitzel
And the latest fashion trends

But alas, upon the ‘morrow
His companion took a plane
And the Fräulein waved in sorrow
And his friend felt much the same

He was off to earn his money
In a city they call Rome
Where the weather was quite sunny
And the frog felt right at home

There was art and there was culture
And so much of it in stone
Every corner had its sculpture
So the frog was not alone

‘mongst the mighty, ancient splendor
Massive statures, ancient lore
And the Coliseum’s grandeur
Paintings, music and much more

“Come lets see the Sistine Chapel
And St. Peter’s and the Pope
Come along, we have to scramble
Come along my little toad”

And the frog with admiration
Loved to see the many sights
He was glad to take vacation
To take pictures and to write

To his folks across the ocean
To his Ma and Pa at home
And to tell them with devotion
Of his travels down in Rome

But alas there came the ‘morrow
And another plane to take
Now the frog was full of sorrow
As his friend dashed through the gate

“Frog ” he said and raised an eyebrow
“Frog we’re going far away
Off to China we will go now
And we’ll get there in a day”

And indeed it took forever
But they made it just in time
For a meeting-like endeavor
That his friend had been assigned

And the next day, what a pleasure
They saw pandas and ate rice
They rode bikes about at leisure
And went shopping for some spice

“Off we go to see the Great Wall
And the Warriors of Xi’an
And then later when it’s nightfall
We must hurry and be gone”

He had barely set directions
When they hurried to a plane
And took off for more attractions
In another strange terrain

“Well, G’ Day Love,” they were greeted
By the local surfing crowd
“Are you here to have a meeting?
Are you on a walk-about?”

“Yes we are,” replied the young man
And presented Mr. Frog
We are off to see the Opera
And to visit Ayers Rock

And with this he took his duffel
Said G’ Day to all the mates
Shuffled off to see the Outback
And put on a pair of shades

Frog, however, loved the vista
Kangaroos, koala bears
And wrote home to tell his mister
Of his travels everywhere

“Ma and Pa, I’m way Down Under
In a sunny little spot
In a land that’s full of wonder
And that’s also, pretty hot

I’ll be home soon, have the feeling
‘Cause my friend is on his way
To complete his many dealings
In the great U S of A”

And indeed the duffel’s motion
Told the Frog they were en-route
Cross the great Pacific Ocean
At a lofty altitude

His companion, when they landed
Took the happy little chap
Gave his blessings and a letter
And then placed him in a cab

“Take this home to give your mister,”
he said sadly with a tear
“Tell him all about the vistas
Tell him all about your year”

And with this his young friend parted
While the cab drove down the street
Frog was sad and broken hearted
As the car took off at speed

Down the street and round the corner
Up a bridge and down a hill
Screeching, beeping and no sooner
Did it break and stood quite still

But alas, who came to fetch him?
Was his own sweet Ma and Pa
“We have missed you,” called the lawn-kin
You were gone. Did you go far?”

But the Frog was truly speechless
And sat stoically at ease
While the letter told the story
Of the Frog of Bourbon Street

Note: This story is based on an article that ran in the German language newspaper Washington Journal around 1997. The story was of a stolen lawn decoration and a series of postcards that were sent over the course of a year, detailing the statue’s travels around the world. The story caught local media attention and hence, the pranksters, sent the statue back by taxi just before Thanksgiving with a letter of explanation. Apparently, the postcards were sent by two young professionals who traveled for a living. The elderly couple whose lawn decoration was returned derived much joy from the postcards.